To be or to not be?
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always looked up to my parents for inspiration. Growing up, even though we were decently well off, I saw my father do two jobs to put that extra bread on the table. I saw my mother head to the government school every day, despite all of us knowing that she deserves more.
Today, as I write this, a sudden outburst of emotions engulfs me. To be honest, I’ve been aware of this feeling building up for a while now. I’ve been looking forward to the weekends, knowing of them as an escape from the usual corporate grind. As much as I want my weekends to be spent on literary work, there’s a feeling of guilt that eats up my head if I don’t work towards the career goals I’ve planned. It feels like taking a break is not an option anymore.
A friend and I spoke about the same very problem today. The problem of adulting. A burden of responsibilities.
Growing up together, we’ve literally seen each other more as a family than friends. And while our life path is totally different, I still find similarities in our quest to find answers to life. I find similarities in our eagerness to understand life as it is, and in contrast to, as we want to see it.
I believe you and I are similar too. We, the Millenials, are after all perfectly placed between the continuum of technology and humanity. Or maybe, not that perfectly!!
I have a few questions for you. Questions that are troubling me tonight. Questions that do not necessarily have a correct answer. And while I know these are tough questions, I want you to think about them too. I want you to write about them. I want you to flow around them. That’s when you see the real question. The underlying emotion behind the question.
When was the last time you realized you were never getting dedicated vacations again? When was it that you realized with money, comes responsibilities? When did you understand investing in commitments and the power of speech? Or, to be honest, this one’s the worst. When did you realize your parents won’t be around always?
I wonder when and how I grew up to be so much caring about my own career. Sometimes, I wonder if that's the right thing to invest my time in. Or maybe, if there’s another metric I should probably start looking into. A metric that somehow evaluates the purpose of my life, not just by the contributions I make to the economy, but also by the intangible fortunes I collect through people and the experiences that touch my life.
Sometimes, on nights like these, I wonder if there’s anyone who’s figured it out. Humans are weird, and much more weird is the world that we live in.
On some nights, it’s beautiful and calm. On others, it’s disturbing and a little bit of harm.
